Birth Mom Missions

Description

For a second, put on the shoes of a birth parent. Imagine parting with your child. Imagine believing that it is your only option. Imagine believing that it is right. It still hurts, doesn't it? Now that you've got that feeling down, imagine someone has told you that you don't have a right to be sad. Or shed tears. Or miss your child. Hard to find a place to fit in again, huh? Most people thing you are crazy if you want to remember or talk about your child. It seems that the grief which results from adoption loss more often follows a pattern which is the exact opposite of what one might expect in the case of other losses.

"This disenfranchised grief is when the grief is connected with a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, publicly mourned or socially supported. In many cases of disenfranchised grief, the relationship is not recognized, the loss is not recognized or the griever is not recognized. The loss of a child through adoption is usually a loss which cannot be openly acknowledged, which is why mothers often suffer in silence...people who have experienced any type of loss often feel anger, guilt, sadness, depression, hopelessness and numbness and that in cases of disenfranchised grief, these feelings can persist for a very long time. The lack of recognition of their grief often results in them holding on to it more tenaciously than they might otherwise have done.